I am a house wife. A stay-at-home mom. A home maker. I stay at home because we (Zach and I) made that decision a long time ago. It was not a decision we made lightly. We thought long and hard about it. There were many nights spent talking about it into the wee hours of the morning. There still are. We knew that by making this choice we would never own a brand new car or house. We knew we wouldn't be able to buy things just because we wanted them. But we don't want that either. We have to think about making our purchases. We have to save up. We have to pinch pennies. But we find those things fun, challenging, exciting even.
I do not feel I need to justify my not having a job. I do things here and there to bring in a little extra money on occasion but not because I feel I should but because I want to. Not because I have to but because I choose to. My husband is able to support us. Would a second income be helpful, sure! But it is not necessary. We don't need it, nor do we want it. We would much rather I be here. Taking care of our home, our children, and ourselves. And I do work. I work hard. I do not sit on the couch watching soap operas all day eating bon bons while filing my nails. I cook, plan meals, grocery shop, clean, do dishes, do laundry, play with my girl, garden (veggies), and make as much as I can from scratch (pie dough, pizza, bread, yogurt, casseroles, granola, baking mix, cream of chicken soup, gravy, chicken broth, pasta, desserts, pie filling, laundry soap). Could I buy most of those things from a store, sure! But I save us a lot of money by making them from scratch and they are much healthier. Could I do those things and still have a job, sure but maybe not as well or with as much attention to detail.
Have we chosen the hard life? In some peoples eyes, sure. But not in ours. We live a simple existence. We don't go out to eat for our birthdays and anniversary. Instead I make a favortie meal and dessert. We don't go out to the movies. Instead we head the the library and borrow a movie for free. We don't buy new clothes. Instead we shop at Goodwill, consignment shops, thrift stores, and yard sales. We don't go to high dollar salons. Instead I cut my husbands hair and I get mine cut at a beauty college for about $5. We don't buy pricey diapers. Instead we cloth diaper and use store brand disposables. We don't go on big vacations. Instead we go camping or to local parks and historical sites and maybe once every 5 years or so take a bigger trip. Still costing us no more than $500 or so.We live a reusable life instead of a disposable one. We use rags instead of Swifer dusters, sponges, paper towels. We use cloth napkins, cloth diapers, and towels. I am looking into using handkerchiefs this winter instead of tissues. Heck, I even use cloth "female products." Sorry guys!
Are we happy? For the most part, yes. Do we want more? Sure! Who doesn't? We want a home of our own. Land. A place to raise our children. In the country. A place for goats, chickens, maybe even a couple sheep. A place to grow, run, learn, live, breath! But we are willing to wait for that to happen. To slowly build up our savings. Are we planning to buy a quarter of a million dollar home? NO! Not by any means. An old farm house with a couple out buildings and a couple few acres would be fine with us.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not knocking those that do work! Both those that choose to and have to. I am not saying that it makes you a lesser wife, mother, father, husband, person! Not by any means. I am just stating our decision and why and how we make this decision possible. I can not count the number of times I have been looked down on because I choose to stay home. How many people have told my husband that I should get off my lazy good for nothing butt and get a job. And it hurts me. That people cannot accept the decision we have made.
We both sacrifice to make this choice possible for us. Zach works hard! He works a hard, physical job and comes home tired every morning. He works third shift so he can earn an extra dollar an hour. And this means that he is on a different sleep schedule as "L" and I. He gets home from work at 7am and goes to bed. We get up at 8am. He then gets up at 1 or 1:30 pm (after only 6 or so hours of sleep) to spend time with us. He then leaves for work at 5pm. We don't even eat a meal together the days that he works.
And how do I sacrifice? I miss my husband! I see him a matter of 3-4 hours a day on the days he works. And those hours he is tired and half out of it. I don't always get to buy the things that I want or "need". I am tired. Mentally, physically and often times emotionally.
But we are happy. So why can't people just be happy for us? Because we don't want the same things you do? Because we don't want the same things you want? I am sorry if our life style offends you. But maybe yours offends me. But it is not my place to tell you how to live it.