Monday, July 26, 2010

This is me!

I am a house wife. A stay-at-home mom. A home maker. I stay at home because we (Zach and I) made that decision a long time ago. It was not a decision we made lightly. We thought long and hard about it. There were many nights spent talking about it into the wee hours of the morning. There still are. We knew that by making this choice we would never own a brand new car or house. We knew we wouldn't be able to buy things just because we wanted them. But we don't want that either. We have to think about making our purchases. We have to save up. We have to pinch pennies. But we find those things fun, challenging, exciting even.

I do not feel I need to justify my not having a job. I do things here and there to bring in a little extra money on occasion but not because I feel I should but because I want to. Not because I have to but because I choose to. My husband is able to support us. Would a second income be helpful, sure! But it is not necessary. We don't need it, nor do we want it. We would much rather I be here. Taking care of our home, our children, and ourselves. And I do work. I work hard. I do not sit on the couch watching soap operas all day eating bon bons while filing my nails. I cook, plan meals, grocery shop, clean, do dishes, do laundry, play with my girl, garden (veggies), and make as much as I can from scratch (pie dough, pizza, bread, yogurt, casseroles, granola, baking mix, cream of chicken soup, gravy, chicken broth, pasta, desserts, pie filling, laundry soap). Could I buy most of those things from a store, sure! But I save us a lot of money by making them from scratch and they are much healthier. Could I do those things and still have a job, sure but maybe not as well or with as much attention to detail.

Have we chosen the hard life? In some peoples eyes, sure. But not in ours. We live a simple existence. We don't go out to eat for our birthdays and anniversary. Instead I make a favortie meal and dessert. We don't go out to the movies. Instead we head the the library and borrow a movie for free. We don't buy new clothes. Instead we shop at Goodwill, consignment shops, thrift stores, and yard sales. We don't go to high dollar salons. Instead I cut my husbands hair and I get mine cut at a beauty college for about $5. We don't buy pricey diapers. Instead we cloth diaper and use store brand disposables. We don't go on big vacations. Instead we go camping or to local parks and historical sites and maybe once every 5 years or so take a bigger trip. Still costing us no more than $500 or so.We live a reusable life instead of a disposable one. We use rags instead of Swifer dusters, sponges, paper towels. We use cloth napkins, cloth diapers, and towels. I am looking into using handkerchiefs this winter instead of tissues. Heck, I even use cloth "female products." Sorry guys!

Are we happy? For the most part, yes. Do we want more? Sure! Who doesn't? We want a home of our own. Land. A place to raise our children. In the country. A place for goats, chickens, maybe even a couple sheep. A place to grow, run, learn, live, breath! But we are willing to wait for that to happen. To slowly build up our savings. Are we planning to buy a quarter of a million dollar home? NO! Not by any means. An old farm house with a couple out buildings and a couple few acres would be fine with us.

Please don't get me wrong. I am not knocking those that do work! Both those that choose to and have to. I am not saying that it makes you a lesser wife, mother, father, husband, person! Not by any means. I am just stating our decision and why and how we make this decision possible. I can not count the number of times I have been looked down on because I choose to stay home. How many people have told my husband that I should get off my lazy good for nothing butt and get a job. And it hurts me. That people cannot accept the decision we have made.

We both sacrifice to make this choice possible for us. Zach works hard! He works a hard, physical job and comes home tired every morning. He works third shift so he can earn an extra dollar an hour. And this means that he is on a different sleep schedule as "L" and I. He gets home from work at 7am and goes to bed. We get up at 8am. He then gets up at 1 or 1:30 pm (after only 6 or so hours of sleep) to spend time with us. He then leaves for work at 5pm. We don't even eat a meal together the days that he works.

And how do I sacrifice? I miss my husband! I see him a matter of 3-4 hours a day on the days he works. And those hours he is tired and half out of it. I don't always get to buy the things that I want or "need". I am tired. Mentally, physically and often times emotionally.

But we are happy. So why can't people just be happy for us? Because we don't want the same things you do? Because we don't want the same things you want? I am sorry if our life style offends you. But maybe yours offends me. But it is not my place to tell you how to live it.


  1. Valerie~
    I think being a SAHM is a very difficult job. Heck, being a housewife is a difficult job! I applaud you and Zach for making the changes that you had to make so you could stay home with little "L." No one should make you feel un-needed or unimportant because You are giving so very much to your small family. Yes, if you were being frivolous I could see people being angry, but you're not! So, please remember that You ARE important, needed, and a great mom, wife, maid, chef, gardener, butler and the many more titles we could give you for being a full-time housewife and SAHM!

  2. I think you lead a great life. You accomplish more in one day then alot of people I know. Your life is very interesting, I just wanna follow you around for a week and Just watch you and learn stuff. I kinda look up to you and your life style. I love to bake but yet I still cant figure out how to do this whole furgual thing or everything from scratch to save money. I dont think anyone should judge you. You have a happy family and you all are healthy. You are a great at what you do. I told Justin I wanted to start doing the stuff like you and he looked me straight in the eye, and said you will have to work hard to catch up with you or do what you do. :)

  3. Thank you KT! Your words were inspiring and uplifting!

    Kristinia- Please, do not try to model yourself off me, or anyone else for that matter! I tried doing that for so long and always ended up feeling like crap because I just couldn't do everything. Take it one step at a time! I was where you are probably 3 years ago. I knew how to cook simple meals but I had no idea what "whole foods" ment. I knew how to clean my house but had no idea that I could do it just fine, if not better, with nothing but vinegar, baking soda and a cut up T-shirt. Do the simple things first. Cook one more meal at home a week from scratch. Next time you go grocery shopping, vow to find one boxed/prepackaged food that you will try making from scratch (I highly recommend mac&cheese! Zach LOVES the cheap boxed mac and cheese but since I stopped buying it and started making it from scratch, he hasn't asked for it once. And it is super easy! Boil some mac, pour in lots of shredded cheese-any flavor you like, stir it up, pour into a baking dish, pour in a little milk-just to cover the bottom, and bake at 350 for 30-40 minutes till the cheese is melted and the top is browned.YUM! Read the ingredients labels on things. If you can't pronounce it, try looking for another brand. Hunts makes HFCS free ketchup and spaghetti sauce (make sure you read the labels on the sauce because some of thiers do have it). Learn how to cut up a chicken. Take you time. I am still getting this one! A while chicken is by far the cheapest way to buy chicken. Leg and leg quarters (legs with the thighs attatched) are the next cheapest. Make casseroles! In the winter, make soups! They are soo cheap to make. Make a meal plan each week! I can't tell you how much money, time, and energy this saves me! I wish you could just come stay with me for a week! :o) The head guy at the farmers market has told me I should start a program at the library or something to teach the things I know. I just don't know if I have the patience for that. :o)
    But I also want you to know that I am in no way perfect! Most days I don't get my hair brushed till noon. I have days that I lay around on the couch and accomplish nothing! I have a bread machine and I use it! :o) I buy soda and ice cream loaded with HFCS and love every sip and bite! We are looking into buying an ice cream maker as they are all in clearance right now though. I didn't start doing all this stuff over night. It happened slowly. One thing at a time. And I still have sooo much that I want to learn! Thank you for thinking so highly of me!

  4. Yeah, I know, I just admire the things you do and way you life. I love doing that stuff but the organization of it to make it affective is the hard part. I know I am not going to be able to do what you do over night, but I got my baby steps. I enjoy my mountian dew, but I "try" to make it a treat, and I have gotten lexie to start snacking on blueberrys and strawberrys, melon and what not. I use the viniger and baking soda with lemon juice, I would swear by it, better then store bought. If I could just learn to make a cheap spot shot, that worked a well as spot shot, I would. :) Baby steps. I got some canning jars and some yeast so, I am getting ready to make some salsa and pickles and bread. although they are not true canning, they are fridgerated pickles :).. I am a pickle nut cant wait weeks for them.